“I think my massage client bailed on me.” “So you really are a masseuse! I saw your shirt, but wasn’t sure if it was just a ploy,” She laughed softly. “Shhh, don’t tell anyone, ok?” I said with a wink. I took another look. Her chestnut brown hair fell about her shoulders, shining softly in the dim light of the bar. Her makeup was perfect, but she was truly beautiful. If anything, the way she dressed downplayed her beauty instead of enhancing it. I gave her a card. “Hmm, I’m tempted to use your services. My shoulders are killing me from the flight.” “Flight attendant,” I thought. This should be fun! “Here, let me give you a free sample,” I said, standing up and spinning her around on her bar stool. I pulled her hair over to one side and slowly massaged her neck and shoulders. She moaned and tilted her head back. I moved up to her temples and scalp, knowing how good that feels. “Ohhhh, man you have no idea how much I need this,” she sighed. “Been a while?” “We still talking about. ” Boris warbled to what might well have been supposed to be the tune to “Danny Boy.”“Christ sake Johnno she’ll be on the racist crap next do something!” Sandra hissed in me lug hole as the pub filled with her mates.I stepped up to the mike, I got a half decent voice, well it was ok till it broke, sort of split down the middle more like, when me balls dropped. “You all know this one,” I shouted and started singing a crapello, that means on me tod.“The Dew on the meadow, the mist on the stream.The river runs down to the sea.”“We gather together to greet the dawnand England belongs to me.” Boris’s mate crashed in a few random chords on Bass Guitar which was handy because I started far too high“So bugger the spaniards and bugger the frogs, and bugger the old EECThe whole fucking Eurozone can get stuffed 'cause England belongs to me.” “Italians are pedopiles so are the krauts, the polish have all got VDSo lets get and build an atomic bomb and blow them to buggery.”“And blow them to.
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